One Saturday a couple weeks ago, I thought it would be a good idea to start online dating again. (It wasn't.) I don't think it was out of a place of loneliness that I was searching for companionship. It was more of a sign of boredom. Have you ever had those moments where you keep going back to the same patterns, expecting different results? I certainly have. I heard somewhere that's what they call insanity.
Over the past few years, I have tried online dating numerous times. I have gone on dates with a handful of young men I met and even started a long-ish relationship with one. However, I have come to the conclusion that I really don't want to find someone by meeting on a random dating site. The one relationship that resulted from online dating was filled with a lot of difficulties. Neither of us really wanted to see the other person for who we truly were. When things got hard, the relationship really started to crumble. We had different theologies, and there really wasn't much we had in common. We had no mutual friends. We struggled to let each other in to the places that made us unique.It ended badly, and if I am being honest, I still suffer from a lot of hurt involving that relationship.
The other dates I have been on with guys I met online were duds. Every time I have tried online dating in the past, I always get frustrated about the process. So why did I feel the need to create a new profile?
I have no idea.
Almost instantly, I was getting messages from guys on this particular site. Most of them were one word. I had a few comment on my perceived attractiveness, which was flattering, sure! But that didn't mean I wanted to be messaged solely because of my looks. I had actually put some thought into what my profile would say, throwing in some witty remarks here and there. I made sure to put that my faith was very important to how I live my life. It didn't matter. After two days, I was exhausted from the attention. I always forget how much effort it takes when you sign up for online dating. I decided to cancel my account on Monday night.
The following Saturday, I went to lunch with my mom and my aunt. Our waiter was very attentive and engaging, and he was good-looking too! At the end of our meal, someone joked about me leaving him my number or a note or something. Thinking I had nothing to lose, I did. I took out one of my business cards, wrote a note on the back, and put a star next to my cell phone number. It went into the folder with the tip, and off we went to enjoy a day of shopping.
It's been a week, and I haven't heard anything from him. I don't actually expect he would call me. The point is that I put myself out there with a real, live person, not some picture on a screen. That is definitely more exciting!
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